Sometimes I wish that our bodies did something truly weird in the first weeks of pregnancy to let us know we are pregnant. My vote is for a purple ring around the belly button. Oooh! Or maybe a purple big toe, or left knee cap. Not the color-of-bruises-purple, but a color that you'd find in the crayon box, like lavender. Maybe you have a different favorite color. Regardless, I think it would be fantastic if there were one unmistakable clue that we could easily keep hidden that would indicate pregnancy before a pregnancy test would be effective. None of this waiting until day 28 (or day 33 in my case) to find out. It seems ridiculous to me that all the symptoms of impending Periodness (aka PMS) are the same symptoms of pregnancy. I've thought this many times before, but I felt compelled to share it today.
No, I am not pregnant. No purple ring around the belly button for me (seriously, how cool would that be?). Instead, I spent the nights of an entire week laying awake wondering what I would do with this blog if I were in fact pregnant; wondering how I would tell my close friends who are also dealing with infertility; wondering if I truly do like the name my husband loves for a girl; wondering, wondering, wondering....
I finally decided to have my husband pick up a pregnancy test while he was out. Of course, it was negative. It always is.
I wasn't extremely late, but I was late enough that if I were pregnant I would have been three weeks pregnant (seriously, my mind would not stop thinking about it all....we NEED purple rings, I tell you!). Everything last month had lined up. I knew when I ovulated, we had sex at the right time, had other bodily signs I'll spare you from reading that left us more confident than usual that my "lateness" this time was not just my body being ridiculous. I should have opted for the pregnancy test sooner.
Well, since we don't have purple rings, I'm thankful we at least have the technology of pregnancy tests we can take at home.
Here's to another month of living like newlyweds on a honeymoon :-) Here's to not having to worry about causing friends pain. And here's to knowing that even though my idea of what's best for me isn't panning out, I can trust that God's idea of what's best for me is better than anything I could hope for. I sure would like a glimpse into His plan sometimes (and a purple ring).
Have a great weekend!