"...Now hope that is seen is not hope. For who hopes for what he sees? But if we hope for what we do not see, we wait for it with patience."
Romans 8:24b-25

24 January 2011

Living in These Days of Grace

I am very excited about what's ahead!  I'm not certain how it will pan out, and I'm not certain how to get there, but I am certain that I'm supposed to move forward, so that's what I'm doing.

My enthusiasm stems from something that was laid on my heart on Saturday.  Really, it was laid on my heart years ago, I just didn't know what it was or what to do with it.  Here's the story:

  • One day my husband and I felt very strongly we should stop trying to prevent pregnancy, even though we were not yet "ready" to have children.  
  • Soon after that, we realized that getting pregnant wouldn't happen for us as quickly as it seemed to for other "normal" people - we realized we were not normal.
  • A desire to begin having children grew within us and (what seemed like) "all" of our friends and siblings began having copious amounts of children.  Much pain ensued.
  • We embarked down the path of fertility treatments with much hope, and we grew stronger in our love for each other and for the Lord each step of the way.  
  • I became aware that there was a real need within the church for support for couples going through infertility.  Those I knew going through it felt isolated and unable to talk about it with the very people who were meant to help bear their burdens.
  • All the fertility treatments failed completely (in the sense of producing children) and it suddenly dawned on me that I needed to, that I wanted to, live in the here and now and be fruitful and productive in the moments God has given me to live.
  • The idea of creating a place people could go in order to realize that they're not alone and perhaps be encouraged in hearing from another on this journey came to mind and this blog was conceived.  I didn't birth it until a year later because I was afraid.
  • We moved and were looking for ways to get plugged in and serve in our local church.  While at a leadership meeting, still unsure how to serve as a couple in light of my husband's upcoming deployment, the idea of developing a bible study specifically targeting the issue of infertility popped in my head.
  • I shared the idea with my husband and we immediately began brainstorming what we would cover, how long it should last, and what a study like that would look like.  
We are both very, VERY excited about this upcoming study!  We approached our pastor to see if he knew if there was even a need in this small congregation for something like this.  He put me in contact with a lovely woman on a similar journey.  She brought it to my attention that there are others, as well, that would benefit from a study on this issue, although they might not consider themselves to be under the label of "infertile."

I am thankful for a husband who thinks linearly, as I tend to be a more abstract thinker.  As we brainstormed, I was reminded again why we make such a great team.  He's able to organize the subject matter that we would want to address in the study, and I am able to remind him of the emotions attached to those areas.

I am thankful, also, that God is giving me a more clear direction on this journey.  Yes, it seems tragic that a young couple who longs to have children is unable to conceive and bear a child.  But how much more tragic it would be if that young couple spent all of their time and energy on longing for children, and missed out on the moments of today!  

Ephesians 2:4-10
It is my prayer that, as we continue to struggle with the angst and pain of a God-given desire which is currently unfulfilled, that we not lose sight of how short this life is that he has given us, so that we will remember to ask him how he wants us to make the most of the days he's given us in the midst of the circumstances he's provided for our good and his glory.


  1. Isn't it amazing that we can be focused so much on one certain thing that we forget to let God show us what he wants us to do now? I do that so much in my life. I'm the poster child for it in fact!

    I will be praying for your study and the others who will be in it. Our God is an amazing God. You never know what will come of this. Thank you for your willingness to take your situation and let God work through you. :)

    Blessings to you and your husband. Have a wonderful day friend!


  2. Oh, almost forgot- I'll email my friend to see if I can have the pattern for that knit hat!!


  3. Thank you, Rachel! We appreciate your prayers. We certainly need them. :-) Oh, and thanks for asking your friend about the pattern.

  4. I think this is amazing! I totally wish I could be a part of it! I have a friend who was part of a group like this at her church in Dallas. She said it was so helpful. They have a great ministry going there. I bet you could contact them and get encouragement & tips as you set out on this journey!
    Praying for you from afar friend! Keep the blog posted on how it goes!

  5. Sand and Tea, Thank you for the link! I'll definitely check it out. And thanks for the prayers. I'll definitely keep you posted.


I would love to hear from you! The subject matter of this blog can be very sensitive. This is intended to be a place of encouragement and to be uplifting. It is never my desire to cause pain through what I write here, so please keep that in mind as you share your thoughts. Thank you.